Thursday, October 7, 2010

on feeling "fat"

I feel fat. How many times a day do we say this to ourselves? How many mornings do we wake up and feel the urge to throw on sweats just to hide our bodies? I know this feeling. And it sucks. I realize this is a controversial topic to write about. But I feel like it's necessary. Being enamored in the world of fashion, body image is always an issue. And even if you're not into fashion and all that the broad term includes, body image IS and will ALWAYS be prevalent.

The media doesn't help. Before I sat down to think, I viewed "the media" as a cliche term; a term that people used in response to questions they were uncomfortable by or just didn't know the answer to. It's always, "the media" this and "the media" that. It really is true, though. Though many of us don't compare ourselves to celebrities CONSCIOUSLY, we certainly are on a deeper level. Look at me, for example. I look at high fashion models like pieces of artwork. To me, those women are divine. It's only natural that when I'm trying on clothes in front of my mirror I'm comparing myself to them. I don't realize I'm doing it. I don't stand there and think.."Oh this would look so much better on Freja. Or Abbey Lee". However, the subconscious comparisons I make become apparent when I start distorting the way I see myself. Our societies definition of "beautiful" is synonymous with thin. And thin, too, is a distorted word. We truly don't know what thin is anymore. Everyday, the word becomes smaller and smaller and smaller. How can we possibly feel good in our own skin in a society like this? It seems like I'm trashing the media. I'm not; or maybe I am in a sense. I'm not sure. I haven't decided. Again, there is nothing more that I love than watching the runways, so by no means am I wishing them away. I just feel like priorities need to be set straight, yes?

We all suffer from insecurities. Me? My thighs are too big and I'm not tall enough, to name a couple. Yes, even I who has her own fashion blog which in it's essence is quite a narcissistic thing, has insecurities. The point of this is just to remind people that they are not alone. We all struggle, and we all aren't perfect. We all consistently strive to make ourselves better in unrealistic ways. There's always something and I am SO sick of it. Aren't you? I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to love myself and my body UNCONDITIONALLY. I want to pay homage to all the girls who were raised to believe they weren't good enough. You ARE good enough. In fact, you are better than that. You are wonderful. 
If you're reading this, comment (you can anonymously, of course) and say something you love about yourself. No matter how "conceited" you may think it seems. It isn't conceited to love yourself. Remember that. 


  1. I love my hair! (Even though you think it is too long and ratty at the ends) I love this post, you are so inspiring Alexandra.

  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. It needs to be said. After you wrote all that, you didn't mention what you love about yourself!

    It's taken me years to realize this, but it's impossible to worry about food and weight all the time. I tried, and it is absolutely exhausting.

    Today, I love my legs. They're not perfect, but they're good enough for me!

  3. Nice writing, it rings true, but unfortunately there still isn't an apparent fix to this issue... It's discouraging sometimes.

    I'll keep it simple, I love my hands. And I hope to love more of myself in the future.

  4. i feel better that someone as beautiful and fashionable as you also has her insecurities. a post like this was quite necessary and you did a fabulous job, thanks

  5. I love my eyes, I think they're really unique and interesting!


  7. Wonderful post al, it's nice to hear something like this among all of the negative and degrading aspects of body image that we're normally exposed to. You're beautiful and talented and I admire your courage to post something like this on your blog!
    With that said, I love my hair and my skin!!

  8. Inspirational post. You're a great writer. And I would never in my wildest dreams have thought you had insecurities. I've always thought of you as perfect.

    I love my face!

  9. Alex- love this post!

    I love my hair and my smile :)

  10. It took me a really long time to think about this, but I love my lips. They're full and thick--the one thing on me I don't mind being fat at all.

    Thank you for this post. By the way, I think you're gorgeous all around.