Thursday, August 25, 2011

on goodbyes

Today I said goodbye to a woman that I have been meeting with weekly ever since I was twelve years old. Strangely, I didn't cry, and for the past several hours I have been wondering about what stopped the tears. The woman I speak of is my therapist and I have cried in front of her countless amounts of times, so I know that the tears were not held back out of embarrassment. Friends of mine know that I am one of the more sensitive folk (a loved one today told me that (jokingly) I could cry anywhere from two to fourteen times a week.)  Overall, I am not a sad person. We each deal with stress in various ways: some of us sleep, some eat, some shop, I cry(fiiiiine, I do all of those things.) For me, releasing tears bears more relief than it does sadness. Anyways, I had (and have) to make some of the hardest goodbyes today: one to my boyfriend, one later to my best friend, and one of course, to my therapist. I cried saying goodbye to him, I undoubtedly will cry saying goodbye to her (bff), yet I didn't cry saying goodbye to my therapist, someone whom I hold of equal importance. I suppose that all goodbyes are different and have different connotations. Perhaps for me, goodbyes are harder to say to those whom I am uncertain of what our future holds together. On the contrary, I am a firm believer that those you love will stay in your life regardless of distance and time. I think college and all other major life changes for that matter is an excuse to rid yourself of the "useless" folk that just loll around you and don't really produce any sort of positive impact to your life. However, those people that truly matter from your pre-collegiate years will continue to do so as life goes on. In fact, I think that those relationships are something quite special and they will grow in a remarkable and beautiful way. I am certain of that.

I guess I didn't cry saying goodbye to her because I have no doubts about the future of our relationship. Our future together is quite predictable. I see weekly phone calls and emails, and the occasional session when I am home for breaks. I don't count on any surprises. This is not to say that I doubt the other important relationships in my life; in fact, I have more faith in those now than I ever have had before. With the right communication, these relationships will continue to blossom and become stronger. I know that this can be true for all you readers out there, as well. Hold on tight to those you love. Here's to a year of strength.