Sunday, April 24, 2011

the power of moxie

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate! This morning, I'm feeling especially thankful for family, the warm weather, and my blog. To elaborate on the last, I've been thinking a lot recently about the moxie I have that enables me to be confident in this blog. I recognize that there's something that seems to be incredibly egotistical about taking photos of myself in pretty clothes and putting them online for the world to see, probably because we all know that if I didn't feel confident about and proud of the way I looked in these photos I wouldn't post them. It's simple: we all know I like the way I look. While some may argue that this blogging endeavor of mine, if you will, is an unhealthy way to feed my ego, I argue that in many ways it has saved it. While I have always been someone who has been told that they were beautiful, I am not someone who has always felt it. Oftentimes, I felt that those who commented on my looks were mocking me, or were not being truthful. The best way I can think to explain it is like this: you know when you get an 88 on a test, and you're really disappointed because to you an 88 is just not good enough, and someone says to you, "hey, an 88 is still really good, congratulations," and you want to make them stop because you feel embarrassed because you just don't see what they're saying? Thats how I would feel, but about my looks. It's a strange concept, especially now after I've worked on appreciating my beauty and allowing myself to soak in other people's kind words while learning to truly believe them. I have come so far from my days of sulking in low self-esteem, and I owe a huge thanks to this blog for that. It has never failed to make me feel beautiful and appreciated- two things that I think we all deserve to feel. I'm proud of myself that for, despite my many imperfections and follies, I still have the courage to keep doing what I do. I do it for myself, and I do it for my healing. This blog has become another one of the precious ways I have learned to alleviate life.

And with that, here are some pictures from today in which I really feel beautiful. Enjoy, and have a great Easter.












all photos taken by my incredibly talented sister Bella
skirt Zara top American Apparel

8 comments:

  1. I wish i was you and/or as beautiful as you!!!!!!!

    ***i respect you

    -shtummy

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  2. You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

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  3. wow, well written, well said. takes a lot of guts what you do. respect

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  4. thank you so much, i really really appreciate it.

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  5. Can I ask a totally personal question--did your low self-esteem and body dislike ever turn into an eating disorder or any type of disordered eating?

    I so admire you!

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  6. to whoever posted the previous comment, email me at ahayes32593@gmail.com and i'd be happy to chat!

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